Just recently I have been hired by Tuesday Morning. They asked me at the interview if they could do a background check on me.. I said.. "YEAH! Sure!". I knew there wasn't anything that could persuade them not to hire me. Well... So far they haven't been able to even get to the background check.... They have been having trouble matching up my name and my identity numbers. They have resubmitted it 3 times already and has come back the same everytime. None hireable. Because the numbers don't match with my name.
Almost every other day in the past 2 weeks I have been calling them to see if there was any more news. (Every time getting my hope up that it was all working out ok).... and everytime being turned down "no we don't know yet" or "No they don't match again".
So last week to make things better or worse I got a call from another place to work. They want to hire me and today is they day where I tell them yes or no.
So I called tuesday moring again.... getting my hope up... reasuring myself that there is noooo reason why they wouldn't want to hire me... and they say.. "No the numbers don't match, we need to call corporate and we won't hear from them till this week friday".
I AM SOOOO FRUSTRATED!!! I have done my own background check on myself matching my name with my numbers and it all checks out! I double checked the numbers and even filled out a whole new application for them (double checking everything).
Why must there be such a hassle? Why couldn't everything just work out smoothly like everyone elses?
So after the call today I needed to write things down cause I felt sooo horrible like my heart was drowning... losing hope is hard... lol.
So here is what I wrote. :-)
Don't let me sink
Through these changes and uncertainties
God please hold my heart up don’t let it sink
When everything tells me to lose hope
God, please hold my heart up don’t let it sink
I just want to give up right now
Give up and let my heart drop another time
God please hold my heart up don’t let it sink
When I feel so frustrated and start to drown in tears
God, please hold my heart up and never let it sink
Never let my heart get so low
That I feel like I’m drowning
You’ll never let me drown
Never
God please hold my heart up high
So I can breathe your new breath into me
So I can feel this wonderful purity
God, please hold my heart up and never let it sink
I’ve gotten to a moment where I felt my heart drop
Once again
It’s been let go. I let it go. But Got you keep holding
On..
You don’t need me but you keep me here. Using me.
You keep holding my heart up and you never let it sink
My identity has been shaken
This body doesn’t stand on firm ground anymore
I’m dangling in mid-air
God, please hold me up and never let me sink
I hate the pain of free falling I hate thinking about it.
But You will keep holding on.
God you’ll never let me drop never let me sink.
